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Chapter 45
Emma's
pensive meditations, as she walked home, were not interrupted; but on
entering the parlour, she found those who must rouse her. Mr. Knightley
and Harriet had arrived during her absence, and were sitting with her
father.--Mr. Knightley immediately got up, and in a manner decidedly
graver than usual, said,
"I would not go away without seeing you, but I have no time to spare,
and therefore must now be gone directly. I am going to
London, to
spend a few days with John and Isabella. Have you any thing
to
send or say, besides the `love,' which nobody carries?"
"Nothing at all. But is not this a sudden scheme?"
"Yes--rather--I have been thinking of it some little time."
Emma was sure he had not forgiven her; he looked unlike himself. Time,
however, she thought, would tell him that they ought to be friends
again. While he stood, as if meaning to go, but not going--
her
father began his inquiries.
"Well, my dear, and did you get there safely?--And how did you find my
worthy old friend and her daughter?--I dare say they must have been
very much obliged to you for coming. Dear Emma has been to
call
on Mrs. and Miss Bates, Mr. Knightley, as I told you before. She is
always so attentive to them!"
Emma's colour was heightened by this unjust praise; and with a smile,
and shake of the head, which spoke much, she looked at Mr. Knightley.--
It seemed as if there were an instantaneous impression in her favour,
as if his eyes received the truth from her's, and all that had passed
of good in her feelings were at once caught and honoured.-- He looked
at her with a glow of regard. She was warmly gratified-- and
in
another moment still more so, by a little movement of more than common
friendliness on his part.--He took her hand;-- whether she had not
herself made the first motion, she could not say-- she might, perhaps,
have rather offered it--but he took her hand, pressed it, and certainly
was on the point of carrying it to his lips-- when, from some fancy or
other, he suddenly let it go.--Why he should
feel such a scruple, why he should change his mind when it was all but
done, she could not perceive.--He would have judged better, she
thought, if he had not stopped.--The intention, however, was
indubitable; and whether it was that his manners had in general so
little gallantry, or however else it happened, but she thought nothing
became him more.-- It was with him, of so simple, yet so dignified a
nature.-- She could not but recall the attempt with great satisfaction.
It spoke such perfect amity.--He left them immediately afterwards--
gone in a moment. He always moved with the alertness of a
mind
which could neither be undecided nor dilatory, but now he seemed more
sudden than usual in his disappearance.
Emma could not regret her having gone to Miss Bates, but she wished she
had left her ten minutes earlier;--it would have been a great pleasure
to talk over Jane Fairfax's situation with Mr. Knightley.-- Neither
would she regret that he should be going to Brunswick Square, for she
knew how much his visit would be enjoyed--but it might have happened at
a better time--and to have had longer notice of it, would have been
pleasanter.--They parted thorough friends, however; she could not be
deceived as to the meaning of his countenance, and his unfinished
gallantry;--it was all done to assure her that she had fully recovered
his good opinion.--He had been sitting with them half an hour, she
found. It was a pity that she had not come back earlier!
In the hope of diverting her father's thoughts from the
disagreeableness of Mr. Knightley's going to London; and going so
suddenly; and going on horseback, which she knew would be all very bad;
Emma communicated her news of Jane Fairfax, and her dependence on the
effect was justified; it supplied a very useful check,-- interested,
without disturbing him. He had long made up his mind to Jane
Fairfax's going out as governess, and could talk of it cheerfully, but
Mr. Knightley's going to London had been an unexpected blow.
"I am very glad, indeed, my dear, to hear she is to be so comfortably
settled. Mrs. Elton is very good-natured and agreeable, and I
dare say her acquaintance are just what they ought to be. I
hope it is a dry situation, and that her health will
be
taken good care of. It ought to be a first object, as I am
sure
poor Miss Taylor's always was with me. You know, my dear, she
is
going to be to this new lady what Miss Taylor was to us. And
I
hope she will be better off in one respect, and not be induced to go
away after it has been her home so long."
The following day brought news from Richmond to throw every thing else
into the background. An express arrived at Randalls to
announce
the death of Mrs. Churchill! Though her nephew had had no
particular reason to hasten back on her account, she had not
lived above six-and-thirty hours after his return. A sudden
seizure of a different nature from any thing foreboded by her general
state, had carried her off after a short struggle. The great Mrs.
Churchill was no more.
It was felt as such things must be felt. Every body had a
degree
of gravity and sorrow; tenderness towards the departed, solicitude for
the surviving friends; and, in a reasonable time, curiosity to know
where she would be buried. Goldsmith tells us, that when
lovely
woman stoops to folly, she has nothing to do but to die; and when she
stoops to be disagreeable, it is equally to be recommended as a clearer
of ill-fame. Mrs. Churchill, after being disliked at least twenty-five
years, was now spoken of with compassionate allowances. In
one
point she was fully justified. She had never been admitted before to be
seriously ill. The event acquitted her of all the
fancifulness,
and all the selfishness of imaginary complaints.
"Poor Mrs. Churchill! no doubt she had been suffering a great deal:
more than any body had ever supposed--and continual pain would try the
temper. It was a sad event--a great shock-- with all her
faults,
what would Mr. Churchill do without her? Mr. Churchill's loss
would be dreadful indeed. Mr. Churchill would never get over
it."-- Even Mr. Weston shook his head, and looked solemn, and said,
"Ah! poor woman, who would have thought it!" and resolved, that his
mourning should be as handsome as possible; and his wife sat sighing
and moralising over her broad hems with a commiseration and good sense,
true and steady. How it would affect Frank was among the
earliest
thoughts of both. It was also a very early speculation with
Emma. The character of Mrs. Churchill, the grief of her husband--her
mind
glanced over them both with awe and compassion--and then rested with
lightened feelings on how Frank might be affected by the event, how
benefited, how freed. She saw in a moment all the possible
good.
Now, an attachment to Harriet Smith would have nothing to encounter.
Mr. Churchill, independent of his wife, was feared by nobody; an easy,
guidable man, to be persuaded into any thing by his nephew. All that
remained to be wished was, that the nephew should form the attachment,
as, with all her goodwill in the cause, Emma could feel no certainty of
its being already formed.
Harriet behaved extremely well on the occasion, with great
self-command. What ever she might feel of brighter hope, she betrayed
nothing. Emma was gratified, to observe such a proof in her
of
strengthened character, and refrained from any allusion that might
endanger its maintenance. They spoke, therefore, of Mrs. Churchill's
death with mutual forbearance.
Short letters from Frank were received at Randalls, communicating all
that was immediately important of their state and plans. Mr. Churchill
was better than could be expected; and their first removal, on the departure of the funeral for Yorkshire,
was to be
to the house of a very old friend in Windsor, to whom Mr. Churchill had
been promising a visit the last ten years. At present, there was
nothing to be done for Harriet; good wishes for
the future were all that could yet be possible on Emma's side.
It was a more pressing concern to shew attention to Jane Fairfax, whose
prospects were closing, while Harriet's opened, and whose engagements
now allowed of no delay in any one at Highbury, who wished to shew her
kindness--and with Emma it was grown into a first wish. She had
scarcely a stronger regret than for her past coldness; and the
person, whom she had been so many months neglecting, was now the very
one on whom she would have lavished every distinction of regard or
sympathy. She wanted to be of use to her; wanted to shew a
value
for her society, and testify respect and consideration. She resolved to
prevail on her to spend a day at Hartfield. A note was written to urge
it. The invitation was refused, and by a verbal
message. "Miss Fairfax was not well enough to
write;"
and when Mr. Perry called at Hartfield, the same morning, it appeared
that she was so much indisposed as to have been visited, though against
her own consent, by himself, and that she was suffering under
severe headaches, and a nervous fever to a degree, which made him doubt
the possibility of her going to Mrs. Smallridge's at the time
proposed. Her health seemed for the moment completely
deranged--
appetite quite gone--and though there were no absolutely alarming
symptoms, nothing touching the pulmonary complaint, which was the
standing apprehension of the family, Mr. Perry was uneasy about
her. He thought she had undertaken more than she was equal
to,
and that she felt it so herself, though she would not own it.
Her
spirits seemed overcome. Her present home, he could not but
observe, was unfavourable to a nervous disorder:-- confined always to
one room;--he could have wished it otherwise-- and
her good aunt, though his very old friend, he must acknowledge to be
not the best companion for an invalid of that description. Her care and
attention could not be questioned; they were, in fact, only too
great. He very much feared that Miss Fairfax derived more
evil
than good from them. Emma listened with the warmest concern;
grieved for her more and more, and looked around eager to discover some
way of being useful. To take her--be it only an hour or
two--from
her aunt, to give her change of air and scene, and quiet rational
conversation, even for an hour or two, might do her good; and the
following morning she wrote again to say, in
the most feeling language she could command, that she would call for
her in the carriage at any hour that Jane would name-- mentioning that
she had Mr. Perry's decided opinion, in favour of such exercise for his
patient. The answer was only in this short note:
"Miss Fairfax's compliments and thanks, but is quite unequal to any
exercise."
Emma felt that her own note had deserved something better; but it was
impossible to quarrel with words, whose tremulous inequality shewed
indisposition so plainly, and she thought only of how she might best
counteract this unwillingness to be seen or assisted. In spite of the
answer, therefore, she ordered the carriage, and drove to Mrs. Bates's,
in the hope that Jane would be induced to join her-- but it would not
do;--Miss Bates came to the carriage door, all gratitude, and agreeing
with her most earnestly in thinking an airing might be of the greatest
service--and every thing that message could do was tried-- but all in
vain. Miss Bates was obliged to return without success; Jane
was
quite unpersuadable; the mere proposal of going out seemed to make her
worse.--Emma wished she could have seen her, and tried her own powers;
but, almost before she could hint the wish, Miss Bates made it appear
that she had promised her niece on no account to let Miss Woodhouse
in. "Indeed, the truth was, that poor dear Jane could not
bear to
see any body--any body at all-- Mrs. Elton, indeed, could not be
denied--and Mrs. Cole had made such a point--and Mrs. Perry had said so
much--but, except them, Jane would really see nobody."
Emma did not want to be classed with the Mrs. Eltons, the Mrs. Perrys,
and the Mrs. Coles, who would force themselves anywhere; neither could
she feel any right of preference herself-- she submitted, therefore,
and only questioned Miss Bates farther as to
her niece's appetite and diet, which she longed to be able to
assist. On that subject poor Miss Bates was very unhappy, and
very communicative; Jane would hardly eat any thing:-- Mr. Perry
recommended nourishing food; but every thing they could command (and
never had any body such good neighbours) was distasteful.
Emma, on reaching home, called the housekeeper directly, to an
examination of her stores; and some arrowroot of very superior quality
was speedily despatched to Miss Bates with a most friendly note. In
half an hour the arrowroot was returned, with a thousand thanks from
Miss Bates, but "dear Jane would not be satisfied without its
being sent back; it was a thing she could not take--and, moreover, she
insisted on her saying, that she was not at all in want of any thing."
When Emma afterwards heard that Jane Fairfax had been seen wandering
about the meadows, at some distance from Highbury, on the afternoon of
the very day on which she had, under the plea of being unequal to any
exercise, so peremptorily refused to go out with her in the carriage,
she could have no doubt--putting every thing together-- that Jane was
resolved to receive no kindness from her. She was sorry, very
sorry. Her heart was grieved for a state which seemed but the
more pitiable from this sort of irritation of spirits, inconsistency of
action, and inequality of powers; and it mortified her that she was
given so little credit for proper feeling, or esteemed so little worthy
as a friend: but she had the consolation of knowing that her
intentions were good, and of being able to say to herself, that could
Mr. Knightley have been privy to all her attempts of assisting Jane
Fairfax, could he even have seen into her heart, he would not, on this
occasion, have found any thing to reprove.
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