Tracing your family tree Do you have UK ancestors? Professional genealogist available to help you trace your family tree - Austen for Beginners recommends:
Austen
for Beginners is a
participant in the Amazon EU Associates Programme, an affiliate
advertising programme designed to provide a means for sites to earn
advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com
Instead of receiving any such letter of
excuse from his friend, as Elizabeth
half expected Mr. Bingley to do, he was able to bring Darcy with him to
Longbourn before many days had passed after Lady Catherine's visit.The gentlemen arrived
early; and, before Mrs.
Bennet had time to tell him of their having seen his aunt, of which her
daughter sat in momentary dread, Bingley, who wanted to be alone with
Jane,
proposed their all walking out.It
was
agreed to.Mrs.
Bennet was not in the
habit of walking; Mary could never spare time; but the remaining five
set off
together.Bingley
and Jane, however,
soon allowed the others to outstrip them.They lagged behind, while Elizabeth,
Kitty, and Darcy were to entertain each other. Very little was said by
either;
Kitty was too much afraid of him to talk; Elizabeth
was secretly forming a desperate resolution; and perhaps he might be
doing the
same.
They walked towards the
Lucases, because
Kitty wished to call upon Maria; and as Elizabeth saw
no
occasion for making it a general concern, when Kitty left them she went boldly on with him alone. Now was the
moment for her resolution to be executed, and, while her courage was
high, she
immediately said,
"Mr. Darcy, I am a very
selfish
creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care
not how
much I may be wounding your's.I
can no
longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister.Ever since I have known
it, I have been most
anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it.Were it known to the rest of my family, I
should not have merely my own gratitude to express."
"I am sorry, exceedingly
sorry," replied Darcy, in a tone of surprise and emotion, "that you
have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given
you
uneasiness.I did
not think Mrs. Gardiner
was so little to be trusted."
"You must not blame my
aunt.Lydia's
thoughtlessness first
betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter; and, of
course, I
could not rest till I knew the particulars.Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all
my family, for that
generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble, and bear
so many
mortifications, for the sake of discovering them."
"If you will thank me,"
he
replied, "let it be for yourself alone.That the wish of giving happiness to you might add
force to the other
inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny.But your family owe me
nothing.Much as I
respect them, I believe I thought
only of you."
Elizabeth was too
much embarrassed to say a word.After
a
short pause, her companion added, "You are too generous to trifle with
me.If your
feelings are still what they
were last April, tell me so at once.My
affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence
me on
this subject for ever."
Elizabeth, feeling all
the more than
common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to
speak;
and immediately, though not very fluently, gave him to understand that
her
sentiments had undergone so material a change, since the period to
which he alluded,
as to make her receive with gratitude and pleasure his present
assurances.The
happiness which this reply produced, was
such as he had probably never felt before; and he expressed himself on
the
occasion as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be
supposed
to do.Had Elizabeth
been able to encounter his eye, she
might have seen how well the expression of heartfelt delight, diffused
over his
face, became him; but, though she could not look, she could listen, and
he told
her of feelings, which, in proving of what importance she was to him,
made his
affection every moment more valuable.
They walked on, without
knowing in what
direction.There
was too much to be
thought, and felt, and said, for attention to any other objects.She soon learnt that they
were indebted for
their present good understanding to the efforts of his aunt, who did
call on
him in her return through London, and there relate her journey to
Longbourn,
its motive, and the substance of her conversation with Elizabeth;
dwelling
emphatically on every expression of the latter which, in her ladyship's
apprehension, peculiarly denoted her perverseness and assurance; in the
belief
that such a relation must assist her endeavours to obtain that promise
from her
nephew which she had refused to give.But, unluckily for her ladyship, its effect had been
exactly
contrariwise.
"It taught me to hope,"
said
he, "as I had scarcely ever allowed myself to hope before.I knew enough of your
disposition to be
certain that, had you been absolutely, irrevocably decided against me,
you
would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly."
Elizabeth coloured
and laughed as she replied, "Yes, you know enough of my frankness to
believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your
face, I
could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations."
"What did you say of me,
that I did
not deserve?For,
though your
accusations were ill-founded, formed on mistaken premises, my behaviour
to you
at the time had merited the severest reproof.It was unpardonable.I cannot
think of it without abhorrence."
"We will not quarrel for
the
greater share of blame annexed to that evening," said Elizabeth."The conduct of neither,
if strictly examined, will
be irreproachable;
but since then, we have both, I hope, improved in civility."
"I cannot be so easily
reconciled
to myself.The
recollection of what I
then said, of my conduct, my manners, my expressions during the whole
of it, is
now, and has been many months, inexpressibly painful to me.Your reproof, so well
applied, I shall never
forget: 'had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner.'' Those were
your
words.You know
not, you can scarcely
conceive, how they have tortured me; -- though it was some time, I
confess,
before I was reasonable enough to allow their justice."
"I was certainly very
far from
expecting them to make so strong an impression.I had not the smallest idea of their being ever felt
in such a
way."
"I can easily believe it.You thought me then devoid
of every proper
feeling, I am sure you did.The
turn of
your countenance I shall never forget, as you said that I could not
have
addressed you in any possible way that would induce you to accept me."
"Oh!do not repeat what I then said.These recollections will not do at all.I assure you that I have
long been most
heartily ashamed of it."
Darcy mentioned his
letter."Did it,"
said he, "did it
soon make you think better of me?Did
you, on reading it, give any credit to its contents?"
She explained what its
effect on her had
been, and how gradually all her former prejudices had been removed.
"I knew," said he, "that
what I wrote must give you pain, but it was necessary.I hope you have destroyed the letter. There
was one part especially, the opening of it, which I should dread your
having
the power of reading again.I
can
remember some expressions which might justly make you hate me."
"The letter shall
certainly be
burnt, if you believe it essential to the preservation of my regard;
but,
though we have both reason to think my opinions not entirely
unalterable, they
are not, I hope, quite so easily changed as that implies."
"When I wrote that
letter,"
replied Darcy, "I believed myself perfectly calm and cool, but I am
since
convinced that it was written in a dreadful bitterness of spirit."
"The letter, perhaps,
began in
bitterness, but it did not end so.The
adieu is charity itself.But
think no
more of the letter.The
feelings of the
person who wrote, and the person who received it, are now so widely
different
from what they were then, that every unpleasant circumstance attending
it ought
to be forgotten.You
must learn some of
my philosophy. Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you
pleasure."
"I cannot give you
credit for any
philosophy of the kind. Your retrospections must be so totally void of
reproach, that the contentment arising from them is not of philosophy,
but,
what is much better, of innocence.But
with me, it is not so.Painful
recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be
repelled.I have
been a selfish being all my life, in
practice, though not in principle.As a
child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my
temper.I was given
good principles, but
left to follow them in pride and conceit.Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only
child), I was spoilt
by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly,
all that
was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to
be
selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle;
to think
meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly
of their
sense and worth compared with my own.Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such
I might still have
been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth!What do I not owe you!You taught me a lesson,
hard indeed at first,
but most advantageous.By
you, I was
properly humbled.I
came to you without
a doubt of my reception.You
shewed me
how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of
being
pleased."
"Had you then persuaded
yourself
that I should?"
"Indeed I had.What will you think of my
vanity?I believed
you to be wishing, expecting my
addresses."
"My manners must have
been in
fault, but not intentionally, I assure you.I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might
often lead me
wrong.How you must
have hated me after
that evening?"
"Hate you!I was angry perhaps at
first, but my anger
soon began to take a proper direction."
"I am almost afraid of
asking what
you thought of me, when we met at Pemberley.You blamed me for coming?"
"No indeed; I felt
nothing but
surprise."
"Your surprise could not
be greater
than mine in being noticed by you.My
conscience told me that I deserved no extraordinary politeness, and I
confess
that I did not expect to receive more than my due."
"My object then,"
replied
Darcy, "was to shew you, by every civility in my power, that I was not
so
mean as to resent the past; and I hoped to obtain your forgiveness, to
lessen
your ill opinion, by letting you see that your reproofs had been
attended
to.How soon any
other wishes introduced
themselves I can hardly tell, but I believe in about half an hour after
I had
seen you."
He then told her of
Georgiana's delight
in her acquaintance, and of her disappointment at its sudden
interruption;
which naturally leading to the cause of that interruption, she soon
learnt that
his resolution of following her from Derbyshire in quest of her sister
had been
formed before he quitted the inn, and that his gravity and
thoughtfulness there
had arisen from no other struggles than what such a purpose must
comprehend.
She expressed her
gratitude again, but
it was too painful a subject to each, to be dwelt on farther.
After walking several
miles in a
leisurely manner, and too busy to know any thing about it, they found
at last,
on examining their watches, that it was time to be at home.
"What could become of
Mr. Bingley
and Jane!" was a wonder which introduced the discussion of their
affairs.Darcy was
delighted with their
engagement; his friend had given him the earliest information of it.
"I must ask whether you
were
surprised?" said Elizabeth.
"Not at all.When I went away, I felt
that it would soon
happen."
"That is to say, you had
given your
permission.I
guessed as
much."And though
he exclaimed at
the term, she found that it had been pretty much the case.
"On the evening before
my going to London,"
said he,
"I made a confession to him, which I believe I ought to have made long
ago.I told him of
all that had occurred
to make my former interference in his affairs absurd and impertinent.His surprise was great.He had never had the
slightest suspicion. I
told him, moreover, that I believed myself mistaken in supposing, as I
had
done, that your sister was indifferent to him; and as I could easily
perceive
that his attachment to her was unabated, I felt no doubt of their
happiness
together."
Elizabeth could not
help smiling at his easy manner of directing his friend.
"Did you speak from your
own
observation," said she, "when you told him that my sister loved him,
or merely from my information last spring?"
"From the former.I had narrowly observed
her during the two
visits which I had lately made here; and I was convinced of her
affection."
"And your assurance of
it, I
suppose, carried immediate conviction to him."
"It did.Bingley is most unaffectedly modest.His diffidence had prevented his depending on
his own judgment in so anxious a case, but his reliance on mine made
every
thing easy.I was
obliged to confess one
thing, which for a time, and not unjustly, offended him.I could not allow myself
to conceal that your
sister had been in town three months last winter, that I had known it,
and
purposely kept it from him.He
was
angry.But his
anger, I am persuaded,
lasted no longer than he remained in any doubt of your sister's
sentiments.He has
heartily forgiven me
now."
Elizabeth longed to
observe that Mr. Bingley had been a most delightful friend; so easily
guided
that his worth was invaluable; but she checked herself.She remembered that he had yet to learn to be
laughed at, and it was rather too early to begin.In anticipating the happiness of Bingley,
which of course was to be inferior only to his own, he continued the
conversation till they reached the house.In the hall they parted.