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Chapter 60
Elizabeth’s spirits
soon rising to playfulness again, she wanted Mr. Darcy to account for
his having
ever fallen in love with her. "How
could you begin?" said she. "I
can comprehend your going on charmingly, when you had once made a
beginning;
but what could set you off in the first place?"
"I cannot fix on the
hour, or the
spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before
I knew that I had
begun."
"My beauty you had early
withstood,
and as for my manners -- my behaviour to you was at least always
bordering on
the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give
you pain
than not. Now be
sincere; did you admire
me for my impertinence?"
"For the liveliness of
your mind, I
did."
"You may as well call it
impertinence at once. It
was very little
less. The fact is,
that you were sick of
civility, of deference, of officious attention.
You were disgusted with the women who were always
speaking, and looking,
and thinking for your approbation alone.
I roused, and interested you, because I was so
unlike them. Had
you not been really amiable, you would
have hated me for it; but in spite of the pains you took to disguise
yourself,
your feelings were always noble and just; and in your heart, you
thoroughly
despised the persons who so assiduously courted you.
There -- I have saved you the trouble of
accounting for it; and really, all things considered, I begin to think
it
perfectly reasonable. To
be sure, you
knew no actual good of me -- but nobody thinks of that when they fall
in love."
"Was there no good in
your affectionate
behaviour to Jane while she was ill at Netherfield?"
"Dearest Jane! who could have done less
for her? But make a
virtue of it by all means. My
good qualities are under your protection, and
you are to exaggerate them as much as possible; and, in return, it
belongs to
me to find occasions for teazing and quarrelling with you as often as
may be;
and I shall begin directly by asking you what made you so unwilling to
come to
the point at last. What
made you so shy
of me, when you first called, and afterwards dined here? Why, especially, when you
called, did you
look as if you did not care about me?"
"Because you were grave
and silent,
and gave me no encouragement."
"But I was embarrassed."
"And so was I."
"You might have talked
to me more
when you came to dinner."
"A man who had felt
less,
might."
"How unlucky that you
should have a
reasonable answer to give, and that I should be so reasonable as to
admit
it! But I wonder
how long you would have
gone on, if you had been left to yourself.
I wonder when you would have spoken, if I had not
asked you! My
resolution of thanking you for your
kindness to Lydia
had certainly great effect. Too
much, I
am afraid; for what becomes of the moral, if our comfort springs from a
breach
of promise? for I
ought not to have
mentioned the subject. This
will never
do."
"You need not distress
yourself. The moral
will be perfectly
fair. Lady
Catherine's unjustifiable
endeavours to separate us were the means of removing all my doubts. I am not indebted for my
present happiness to
your eager desire of expressing your gratitude.
I was not in a humour to wait for any opening of
your's. My aunt's
intelligence had given me hope, and
I was determined at once to know every thing."
"Lady Catherine has been
of
infinite use, which ought to make her happy, for she loves to be of use. But tell me, what did you
come down to
Netherfield for? Was
it merely to ride
to Longbourn and be embarrassed? or
had
you intended any more serious consequence?"
"My real purpose was to
see you,
and to judge, if I could, whether I might ever hope to make you love me. My avowed one, or what I
avowed to myself,
was to see whether your sister were still partial to Bingley, and if
she were,
to make the confession to him which I have since made."
"Shall you ever have
courage to
announce to Lady Catherine what is to befall her?"
"I am more likely to
want more time
than courage, Elizabeth.
But it ought to be done, and if you will give me a sheet of paper, it
shall be
done directly."
"And if I had not a
letter to write
myself, I might sit by you and admire the evenness of your writing, as
another
young lady once did. But
I have an aunt,
too, who must not be longer neglected."
From an unwillingness to
confess how
much her intimacy with Mr. Darcy had been over-rated, Elizabeth had
never yet
answered Mrs. Gardiner's long letter; but now, having that to
communicate which
she knew would be most welcome, she was almost ashamed to find that her
uncle
and aunt had already lost three days of happiness, and immediately
wrote as
follows:
"I would have thanked
you before,
my dear aunt, as I ought to have done, for your long, kind,
satisfactory,
detail of particulars; but to say the truth, I was too cross to write.
You
supposed more than really existed.
But
now suppose as much as you choose; give a loose to your fancy, indulge
your
imagination in every possible flight which the subject will afford, and
unless
you believe me actually married, you cannot greatly err. You must write again very
soon, and praise
him a great deal more than you did in your last.
I thank you, again and again, for not going
to the Lakes. How
could I be so silly as
to wish it! Your
idea of the ponies is
delightful. We will
go round the Park
every day. I am the
happiest creature in
the world. Perhaps
other people have
said so before, but not one with such justice.
I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I
laugh. Mr. Darcy
sends you all the love in the world
that he can spare from me. You
are all
to come to Pemberley at Christmas.
Your's, &c."
Mr. Darcy's letter to
Lady Catherine was
in a different style; and still different from either was what Mr.
Bennet sent
to Mr. Collins, in reply to his last.
"DEAR SIR,
I must trouble you once
more for
congratulations. Elizabeth
will soon be the wife of Mr.
Darcy. Console Lady
Catherine as well as
you can. But, if I
were you, I would
stand by the nephew. He
has more to
give.
Yours sincerely,
&c."
Miss Bingley's
congratulations to her
brother, on his approaching marriage, were all that was affectionate
and
insincere. She
wrote even to Jane on the
occasion, to express her delight, and repeat all her former professions
of
regard. Jane was not deceived, but she was affected; and though feeling
no
reliance on her, could not help writing her a much kinder answer than
she knew
was deserved.
The joy which Miss Darcy
expressed on
receiving similar information, was as sincere as her brother's in
sending it.
Four sides of paper were insufficient to contain all her delight, and
all her
earnest desire of being loved by her sister.
Before any answer could
arrive from Mr.
Collins, or any congratulations to Elizabeth
from his wife, the Longbourn family heard that the Collinses were come
themselves to Lucas Lodge. The
reason of
this sudden removal was soon evident. Lady Catherine had been rendered
so
exceedingly angry by the contents of her nephew's letter, that Charlotte,
really rejoicing in the match, was
anxious to get away till the storm was blown over.
At such a moment, the arrival of her friend
was a sincere pleasure to Elizabeth,
though in the course of their meetings she must sometimes think the
pleasure
dearly bought, when she saw Mr. Darcy exposed to all the parading and
obsequious civility of her husband.
He
bore it, however, with admirable calmness.
He could even listen to Sir William Lucas, when he
complimented him on
carrying away the brightest jewel of the country, and expressed his
hopes of
their all meeting frequently at St. James's, with very decent
composure. If he
did shrug his
shoulders, it was not
till Sir William was out of sight.
Mrs. Phillips's
vulgarity was another,
and perhaps a greater, tax on his forbearance; and though Mrs.
Phillips, as
well as her sister, stood in too much awe of him to speak with the
familiarity
which Bingley's good humour encouraged, yet, whenever she did speak,
she must
be vulgar. Nor was
her respect for him,
though it made her more quiet, at all likely to make her more elegant. Elizabeth did all she
could to shield him
from the frequent notice of either, and was ever anxious to keep him to
herself, and to those of her family with whom he might converse without
mortification; and though the uncomfortable feelings arising from all
this took
from the season of courtship much of its pleasure, it added to the hope
of the
future; and she looked forward with delight to the time when they
should be
removed from society so little pleasing to either, to all the comfort
and
elegance of their family party at Pemberley.
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