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Chapter 23
However
small Elinor's general dependence on Lucy's veracity might be,
it was impossible
for her on serious reflection to suspect it in
the present case, where no temptation could be answerable
to the folly of inventing a falsehood of such a
description. What
Lucy had asserted to be true, therefore,
Elinor could not, dared not longer doubt; supported as it
was too on every side by such probabilities and proofs,
and contradicted by nothing but her own wishes. Their opportunity
of acquaintance in the house of Mr. Pratt
was a foundation for the rest, at once indisputable and
alarming; and Edward's visit near Plymouth, his
melancholy state of mind, his dissatisfaction at his own
prospects, his uncertain behaviour towards herself, the
intimate
knowledge of the Miss Steeles as to Norland and their
family connections, which had often surprised her, the
picture, the letter, the ring, formed altogether such a body
of evidence, as overcame every fear of condemning him
unfairly, and established as a fact, which no
partiality could set aside, his ill-treatment of
herself.--Her resentment of such behaviour, her indignation at
having been its dupe, for a short time made her feel only for
herself; but other ideas, other considerations,
soon arose. Had Edward been intentionally deceiving
her? Had he
feigned a regard for her which he did not
feel? Was his
engagement to Lucy an engagement of the heart?
No; whatever it might once have been, she
could not believe it
such at present. His affection was all her own. She could not be
deceived in that. Her
mother, sisters, Fanny, all had
been conscious
of his regard for her at
Norland; it was not an illusion of her own vanity. He certainly loved
her. What a softener of the heart was this
persuasion! How
much could it not tempt her to forgive!
He had been blamable, highly blamable, in
remaining at Norland
after he first felt her influence over him to be more
than it ought to be. In
that, he could not be defended; but if
he had injured her, how much more had he
injured himself; if her case were pitiable, his was
hopeless. His imprudence had made her miserable
for a while; but it seemed to have deprived himself of all
chance of ever being otherwise.
She might in time regain tranquillity; but
he, what had he to look forward
to? Could
he ever be tolerably happy with Lucy
Steele; could he, were his affection for herself out of
the question, with his integrity, his delicacy, and
well-informed mind, be satisfied with a wife like
her--illiterate, artful, and selfish?
The
youthful infatuation of nineteen would naturally blind him to
every thing but her beauty
and good nature; but the four succeeding years--years,
which if rationally spent, give such improvement to the
understanding, must have opened his eyes to her defects of
education, while the same period of time, spent on
her side in inferior society and more frivolous
pursuits, had perhaps robbed her of that
simplicity which might once have given an interesting
character
to her beauty.
If
in the supposition of his seeking to marry herself, his
difficulties from his mother had
seemed great, how much greater were they now likely to
be, when the object of his engagement was
undoubtedly inferior in connections, and probably inferior in
fortune to herself. These difficulties, indeed, with a heart
so alienated from Lucy, might not press very hard
upon his patience; but melancholy was the state of the
person by whom the expectation of family opposition and
unkindness, could be felt as a relief!
As
these considerations occurred to her in painful succession,
she wept for him, more than
for herself. Supported by the conviction of having
done nothing to merit her present unhappiness, and
consoled by the belief that Edward had done nothing to forfeit
her esteem, she thought she could even now, under
the first smart of the heavy blow, command herself
enough to guard every suspicion of the truth from her mother
and sisters. And so well was she able to answer her
own expectations, that when she joined them at dinner only
two hours after she had first suffered the
extinction of all her dearest hopes, no one would have
supposed from the appearance of the sisters, that Elinor
was mourning in secret over obstacles which must
divide her for ever from the object of her love, and that
Marianne was internally dwelling on the perfections
of a man, of whose whole heart she felt thoroughly
possessed, and whom she expected to see in every carriage
which
drove near their house.
The
necessity of concealing from her mother and Marianne, what had
been entrusted in
confidence to herself, though it obliged her to unceasing
exertion, was no aggravation of Elinor's distress. On the
contrary it
was a relief to her, to be spared the
communication of what would give such affliction to
them, and to be saved likewise from hearing that
condemnation of Edward, which would probably flow from the
excess of their partial affection for herself, and which was
more than she felt equal to support.
From
their counsel, or their conversation, she knew she could
receive no assistance, their
tenderness and sorrow must add to her distress, while
her self-command would neither receive encouragement from
their example nor from their praise.
She was stronger alone, and her own good
sense so well supported
her, that her firmness was as unshaken, her appearance
of cheerfulness as invariable, as with regrets so
poignant and so fresh, it was possible for them to be.
Much
as she had suffered from her first conversation with Lucy on
the subject, she soon felt
an earnest wish of renewing it; and this for more
reasons than one. She wanted to hear many particulars of
their engagement repeated again, she wanted more clearly
to understand what Lucy really felt for Edward,
whether there were any sincerity in her declaration of tender
regard for him, and she particularly wanted to convince
Lucy, by her readiness to enter on the matter again,
and her calmness in conversing on it, that she was no
otherwise interested in it than as a friend, which she very
much feared her involuntary agitation, in their
morning discourse, must have left at least doubtful. That Lucy was
disposed to be jealous of her appeared very
probable: it was plain that Edward had always spoken highly in
her praise, not merely from Lucy's assertion, but
from her venturing to trust her on so short a personal
acquaintance, with a secret so confessedly and
evidently important. And even Sir John's joking intelligence
must have had some weight.
But indeed, while Elinor remained so
well assured within herself of being really
beloved by Edward, it required no other consideration of
probabilities to make it natural that Lucy should be
jealous; and that she was so, her very confidence
was a proof. What other reason for the disclosure of
the affair could there be, but that Elinor might be
informed by it of Lucy's superior claims on Edward, and be
taught
to avoid him in future? She
had little difficulty in understanding
thus much of her rival's intentions, and
while she was firmly resolved to act by her as every
principle of honour and honesty directed, to combat her own
affection for Edward and to see him as little as possible;
she could not deny herself the comfort of endeavouring to
convince Lucy that her heart was unwounded.
And as she could now have nothing more
painful to hear on the
subject than had already been told, she did not mistrust her
own
ability of going through a repetition of particulars with
composure.
But
it was not immediately that an opportunity of doing so could
be commanded, though
Lucy was as well disposed as herself to take advantage of
any that occurred; for the weather was not often fine
enough to allow of their joining in a walk, where they
might most easily separate themselves from the others; and
though they met at least every other evening either
at the park or cottage, and chiefly at the former,
they could not be supposed to meet for the sake of
conversation. Such a thought would never enter either
Sir John or Lady Middleton's head; and therefore very
little leisure was ever given for a general chat, and
none at all for particular discourse.
They met for the sake of eating, drinking,
and laughing together, playing
at cards, or consequences, or any other game
that
was sufficiently noisy.
One
or two meetings of this kind had taken place, without
affording Elinor any chance of
engaging Lucy in private, when Sir John called at the
cottage one morning, to beg, in the name of charity, that
they would all dine with Lady Middleton that day, as he
was obliged to attend the club at Exeter, and she
would otherwise be quite alone, except her mother and the
two Miss Steeles. Elinor, who foresaw a fairer opening for
the point she had in view, in such a party as this was
likely to be, more at liberty among themselves under
the tranquil and well-bred direction of Lady
Middleton than when her husband united them together in one
noisy purpose, immediately accepted the invitation;
Margaret, with her mother's permission, was equally
compliant, and Marianne, though always unwilling to join any
of
their parties, was persuaded by her mother, who could
not bear to have her seclude herself from any chance of
amusement, to go likewise.
The
young ladies went, and Lady Middleton was happily preserved
from the frightful solitude
which had threatened her. The insipidity of the meeting was
exactly such as Elinor had expected; it produced not one
novelty of thought or expression, and nothing could be less
interesting than the whole of their discourse both
in the dining parlour and drawing room: to the latter,
the children accompanied them, and while they
remained there, she was too well convinced of the
impossibility
of engaging Lucy's attention to attempt it.
They quitted it only with the removal of
the tea-things. The
card-table was then placed, and Elinor began to wonder at
herself
for having ever entertained a hope of finding time for
conversation at the park.
They all rose up in preparation for a round
game.
"I
am glad," said Lady Middleton to Lucy, "you are not going to
finish poor
little Annamaria's basket this evening; for I am sure it
must hurt your eyes to work fillagree by
candlelight. And we
will make the dear little love some amends for her
disappointment to-morrow, and then I hope she will not
much mind it."
This
hint was enough, Lucy recollected herself instantly and
replied, "Indeed you are very
much mistaken, Lady Middleton; I am only waiting to
know whether you can make your party without me, or I should
have been at my fillagree already.
I would not disappoint the little angel for
all the world: and if you want me at
the card-table now, I am resolved to finish the basket after
supper."
"You
are very good, I hope it won't hurt your eyes-- will you ring
the bell for some working
candles? My poor little girl would be sadly
disappointed, I know, if the basket was not finished tomorrow,
for though I told her it certainly would not, I am
sure she depends upon having it done."
Lucy
directly drew her work table near her and reseated herself
with an alacrity
and cheerfulness which seemed to infer that she could
taste no greater delight than in making a fillagree basket
for a spoilt child.
Lady Middleton proposed a rubber
of Casino to the others. No
one made any objection but
Marianne,
who with her usual inattention to the forms of general
civility, exclaimed, "Your ladyship will have the
goodness to excuse me--you know I detest cards. I shall go to the
pianoforte; I have not touched it since it was
tuned." And
without further ceremony, she turned away and
walked to the instrument.
Lady
Middleton looked as if she thanked heaven that she had never
made so rude a
speech.
"Marianne
can never keep long from that instrument you know, ma'am,"
said Elinor,
endeavouring to smooth away the offence; "and I do not
much wonder at it; for it is the very best toned pianoforte I
ever heard."
The
remaining five were now to draw their cards.
"Perhaps,"
continued Elinor, "if I should happen to cut out, I may be of
some use to Miss
Lucy Steele, in rolling her papers for her; and
there
is so much still to be done to the basket, that it must
be impossible, I think, for her labour singly, to finish
it this evening. I should like the work exceedingly, if
she would allow me a share in it."
"Indeed
I shall be very much obliged to you for your help," cried
Lucy,
"for I find there is more to be done to it than I thought
there
was; and it would be a shocking thing to disappoint dear
Annamaria after all."
"Oh!
that would be terrible, indeed," said Miss Steele-- "Dear
little soul, how I do love
her!"
"You
are very kind," said Lady Middleton to Elinor; "and as you
really like the work,
perhaps you will be as well pleased not to cut in till
another rubber, or will you take your chance now?"
Elinor
joyfully profited by the first of these proposals, and thus by
a little of that address
which Marianne could never condescend to practise,
gained her own end, and pleased Lady Middleton at the same
time. Lucy made
room for her with ready attention, and the
two fair rivals were thus seated side by side at the same
table, and, with the utmost harmony, engaged in forwarding
the same work. The pianoforte, at which Marianne,
wrapped up in her own music and her own thoughts, had by this
time forgotten that any body was in the room besides
herself, was luckily so near them that Miss Dashwood now
judged she might safely, under the shelter of its noise,
introduce the interesting subject, without any risk of being
heard
at the card-table.
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