Back to contents page
Previous chapter
Next chapter
Chapter 24
In
a firm, though cautious tone, Elinor thus began.
"I
should be undeserving of the confidence you have honoured me
with, if I felt no desire
for its continuance, or no farther curiosity on its
subject. I
will not apologize therefore for bringing it
forward again."
"Thank
you," cried Lucy warmly, "for breaking the ice; you have set
my heart at ease
by it; for I was somehow or other afraid I had offended
you by what I told you that Monday."
"Offended
me! How could you suppose so? Believe me," and Elinor spoke it
with the truest
sincerity, "nothing could be farther from my
intention than to give you such an idea.
Could you have a motive for the trust, that
was not honourable and flattering
to me?"
"And
yet I do assure you," replied Lucy, her little sharp eyes full
of meaning, "there
seemed to me to be a coldness and displeasure in your
manner that made me quite uncomfortable.
I felt sure that you was angry with me; and
have been quarrelling with myself
ever since, for having took such a liberty as to trouble you
with my affairs. But I am very glad to find it was only
my own fancy, and that you really do not blame
me. If you knew
what a consolation it was to me to relieve my
heart speaking to you of what I am always thinking of every
moment of my life, your compassion would make you overlook
every thing else, I am sure."
"Indeed,
I can easily believe that it was a very great relief to you,
to acknowledge your
situation to me, and be assured that you shall never have
reason
to repent it. Your case is a very unfortunate one; you
seem to me to be surrounded with difficulties, and you
will have need of all your mutual affection to support
you under them. Mr. Ferrars, I believe, is entirely
dependent on his mother."
"He
has only two thousand pounds of his own; it would be madness
to marry upon that, though
for my own part, I could give up every prospect of more
without a sigh. I have been always used to a very small
income, and could struggle with any poverty for him; but I
love him too well to be the selfish means of robbing him,
perhaps, of all that his mother might give him if he married
to please her. We must wait, it may be for many
years. With almost
every other man in the world, it would be an
alarming prospect; but Edward's affection and constancy
nothing can deprive me of, I know."
"That
conviction must be every thing to you; and he is undoubtedly
supported by the
same trust in your's. If the strength of your reciprocal
attachment had failed, as between many people, and under many
circumstances it naturally would during a four years'
engagement, your situation would have been pitiable,
indeed."
Lucy
here looked up; but Elinor was careful in guarding her
countenance from every
expression that could give her words a suspicious
tendency.
"Edward's
love for me," said Lucy, "has been pretty well put to the
test, by our long, very
long absence since we were first engaged, and it has
stood the trial so well, that I should be
unpardonable
to doubt it now. I can safely say that he has never gave
me one moment's alarm on that account from the
first."
Elinor
hardly knew whether to smile or sigh at this assertion.
Lucy
went on. "I am
rather
of a jealous temper too by nature, and from our different
situations in life, from his being so much more in the world
than me, and our continual separation, I was enough
inclined for suspicion, to have found out the truth in an
instant, if there had been the slightest alteration in his
behaviour to me when we met, or any lowness of spirits that I
could
not account for, or if he had talked more of one lady
than another, or seemed in any respect less happy at
Longstaple than he used to be.
I do not mean to say that I am
particularly observant or quick-sighted in general,
but in such a case I am sure I could not be deceived."
"All
this," thought Elinor, "is very pretty; but it can impose upon
neither of
us."
"But
what," said she after a short silence, "are your views? or
have you none
but that of waiting for Mrs. Ferrars's death, which is a
melancholy and shocking extremity?--Is her son determined to
submit to this, and to all the tediousness of the many
years of suspense in which it may involve you, rather than
run the risk of her displeasure for a while by owning
the truth?"
"If
we could be certain that it would be only for a while! But Mrs. Ferrars is a very
headstrong
proud woman, and in her first fit of
anger upon hearing it, would very likely secure every thing
to Robert, and the idea of that, for Edward's sake,
frightens away all my inclination for hasty
measures."
"And
for your own sake too, or you are carrying your
disinterestedness beyond
reason."
Lucy
looked at Elinor again, and was silent.
"Do
you know Mr. Robert Ferrars?" asked Elinor.
"Not
at all--I never saw him; but I fancy he is very unlike his
brother--silly and a
great coxcomb."
"A
great coxcomb!" repeated Miss Steele, whose ear had caught
those words by a sudden pause in
Marianne's music.-- "Oh, they are talking of their
favourite beaux, I dare say."
"No,
sister," cried Lucy, "you are mistaken there, our favourite
beaux are not great
coxcombs."
"I
can answer for it that Miss Dashwood's is not," said Mrs.
Jennings, laughing heartily;
"for he is one of the modestest, prettiest behaved
young men I ever saw; but as for Lucy, she is such a sly
little creature, there is no finding out who she
likes."
"Oh,"
cried Miss Steele, looking significantly round at them, "I
dare say Lucy's beau is
quite as modest and pretty behaved as Miss
Dashwood's."
Elinor
blushed in spite of herself. Lucy
bit her lip, and looked angrily at her sister.
A mutual silence took place for some time. Lucy first put an end to
it by saying in a lower tone, though Marianne was
then giving them the powerful protection of a very
magnificent concerto--
"I
will honestly tell you of one scheme which has lately come
into my head, for bringing
matters to bear; indeed I am bound to let you into the
secret, for you are a party concerned.
I dare say you have seen enough of Edward
to know that he would prefer
the church to every other profession; now my plan is that he
should take orders as soon as he can, and then
through your interest, which I am sure you would be kind
enough
to use out of friendship for him, and I hope out of
some regard to me, your brother might be persuaded to give
him Norland living; which I understand is a very good one,
and the present incumbent not likely to live a great
while. That
would be enough for us to marry upon, and we
might trust to time and chance for the rest."
"I
should always be happy," replied Elinor, "to show any mark of
my esteem and friendship for
Mr. Ferrars; but do you not perceive that my interest
on such an occasion would be perfectly
unnecessary? He is
brother to Mrs. John Dashwood--that must be
recommendation enough to her husband."
"But
Mrs. John Dashwood would not much approve of Edward's going
into orders."
"Then
I rather suspect that my interest would do very little."
They
were again silent for many minutes.
At length Lucy exclaimed with a deep sigh,
"I
believe it would be the wisest way to put an end to the
business at once by dissolving
the engagement. We seem so beset with difficulties on
every side, that though it would make us miserable
for a time, we should be happier perhaps in the
end. But you
will not give me your advice, Miss
Dashwood?"
"No,"
answered Elinor, with a smile, which concealed very agitated
feelings, "on such a
subject I certainly will not.
You know very well that my opinion would
have no weight with you, unless it were on
the side of your wishes."
"Indeed
you wrong me," replied Lucy, with great solemnity; "I know
nobody of whose
judgment I think so highly as I do of yours; and I do
really believe, that if you was to say to me, 'I advise
you by all means to put an end to your engagement with
Edward Ferrars, it will be more for the happiness of
both of you,' I should resolve upon doing it
immediately."
Elinor
blushed for the insincerity of Edward's future wife, and
replied, "This
compliment would effectually frighten me from giving any
opinion on
the subject had I formed one.
It raises my influence much too high; the
power of dividing two people so
tenderly attached is too much for an indifferent
person."
"
'Tis because you are an indifferent person," said Lucy, with
some pique, and laying a particular
stress on those words, "that your judgment might justly
have such weight with me. If you could be supposed to be
biased in
any respect by your own feelings, your opinion would
not be worth having."
Elinor
thought it wisest to make no answer to this, lest they might
provoke each other to an
unsuitable increase of ease and unreserve; and was even
partly determined never to mention the subject again. Another
pause therefore of many minutes' duration,
succeeded this speech, and Lucy was still the first to end it.
"Shall
you be in town this winter, Miss Dashwood?" said she with all
her accustomary
complacency.
"Certainly
not."
"I am
sorry for that," returned the other, while her eyes brightened
at the
information, "it would have gave me such
pleasure to meet you there! But I dare say you will go for all
that. To be
sure, your brother and sister will ask you to
come to them."
"It
will not be in my power to accept their invitation if they do."
"How
unlucky that is! I had quite depended upon meeting you there. Anne and me are to go the
latter end of January to some relations who have
been wanting us to visit them these several years! But I only go for the
sake of seeing Edward. He
will be there in February, otherwise London would have
no charms for me; I have not spirits for it."
Elinor
was soon called to the card-table by the conclusion of the
first rubber, and the
confidential discourse of the two ladies was
therefore at an end, to which both of them submitted without
any reluctance, for nothing had been said on either side
to make them dislike each other less than they had
done before; and Elinor sat down to the card table
with the melancholy persuasion that Edward was not only
without
affection for the person who was to be his wife;
but that he had not even the chance of being tolerably
happy in marriage, which sincere affection on her side
would have given, for self-interest alone could induce a
woman to keep a man to an engagement, of which she
seemed so
thoroughly aware that he was weary.
From
this time the subject was never revived by Elinor, and when
entered on by Lucy, who seldom
missed an opportunity of introducing it, and was particularly
careful to inform her confidante, of her happiness
whenever she received a letter from Edward, it was treated by
the
former with calmness and caution, and dismissed as soon as
civility would allow; for she felt such conversations to be an
indulgence which Lucy did not deserve, and which were
dangerous to herself.
The
visit of the Miss Steeles at Barton Park
was lengthened far beyond what the first
invitation implied. Their favour increased; they could not
be spared; Sir John would not hear of their going;
and in spite of their numerous and long arranged
engagements in Exeter, in
spite of the absolute necessity of
returning to fulfil them immediately, which was in full
force at the end of every week, they were prevailed on to
stay nearly two months at the park, and to assist in the
due celebration of that festival which requires a more
than ordinary share of private balls and large dinners
to proclaim its importance.
Next
chapter
Back
to contents page
|
Save this on Delicious
