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Chapter 48
Elinor now found the difference
between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the
mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself. She
now found, that in spite of herself, she had always admitted a hope,
while Edward remained single, that something would occur to prevent his
marrying Lucy; that some resolution of his own, some mediation of
friends, or some more eligible opportunity of establishment for the
lady, would arise to assist the happiness of all. But he was
now married; and she condemned her heart for the lurking flattery,
which so much heightened the pain of the intelligence.
That he should be married soon, before (as she imagined) he could be in
orders, and consequently before he could be in possession of the
living, surprised her a little at first. But she soon saw how
likely it was that Lucy, in her self-provident care, in her haste to
secure him, should overlook every thing but the risk of delay. They
were married, married in town, and now hastening down to her
uncle's. What had Edward felt on being within four miles from
Barton, on seeing her mother's servant, on hearing Lucy's message!
They would soon, she supposed, be settled at Delaford.--Delaford,--that
place in which so much
conspired to give her an interest; which she wished to be acquainted
with, and yet desired to avoid. She saw them in an instant in their
parsonage-house; saw in Lucy, the
active, contriving manager, uniting at once a desire of smart
appearance with the utmost frugality, and ashamed to be suspected of
half her economical practices;-- pursuing her own interest in every
thought, courting the favour of Colonel Brandon, of Mrs. Jennings, and
of every wealthy friend. In Edward--she knew not what she
saw, nor what she wished to see;--happy or unhappy,--nothing pleased
her; she turned away her head from every sketch of him.
Elinor flattered herself that some one of their connections in London
would write to them to announce the event, and give farther
particulars,--but day after day passed off, and brought no letter, no
tidings. Though uncertain that any one were to blame, she found fault
with every absent friend. They were all thoughtless or
indolent.
"When do you write to Colonel Brandon, ma'am?" was an inquiry which
sprung from the impatience of her mind to have something going on.
"I wrote to him, my love, last week, and rather expect to see, than to
hear from him again. I earnestly pressed his coming to us,
and should not be surprised to see him walk in today or tomorrow, or
any day."
This was gaining something, something to look forward to. Colonel
Brandon must have some information to give.
Scarcely had she so determined it, when the figure of a man on
horseback drew her eyes to the window. He stopt at their
gate. It was a gentleman, it was Colonel Brandon
himself. Now she could hear more; and she trembled in
expectation of it. But--it was not Colonel Brandon--neither
his air--nor his height. Were it possible, she must say it must be
Edward. She looked again. He had just dismounted;--she could
not be mistaken,--it was Edward. She moved away and sat down.
"He
comes from Mr. Pratt's purposely to see us. I will be
calm; I will be mistress of myself."
In a moment she perceived that the others were likewise aware of the
mistake. She saw her mother and Marianne change colour; saw
them look at herself, and whisper a few sentences to each
other. She would have given the world to be able to
speak--and to make them understand that she hoped no coolness, no
slight, would appear in their behaviour to him;--but she had no
utterance, and was obliged to leave all to their own discretion.
Not a syllable passed aloud. They all waited in silence for
the appearance of their visitor. His footsteps were heard along the
gravel path; in a moment he was in the passage, and in another he was
before them.
His countenance, as he entered the room, was not too happy, even for
Elinor. His complexion was white with agitation, and he
looked as if fearful of his reception, and conscious that he merited no
kind one. Mrs. Dashwood, however, conforming, as she trusted, to the
wishes of that daughter, by whom she then meant in the warmth of her
heart to be guided in every thing, met with a look of forced
complacency, gave him her hand, and wished him joy.
He coloured, and stammered out an unintelligible reply. Elinor's lips
had moved with her mother's, and, when the moment of action was over,
she wished that she had shaken hands with him too. But it was
then too late, and with a countenance meaning to be open, she sat down
again and talked of the weather.
Marianne had retreated as much as possible out of sight, to conceal her
distress; and Margaret,
understanding some part, but not the whole of the case, thought it
incumbent on her to be dignified, and therefore took a seat as far from
him as she could, and maintained a strict silence.
When Elinor had ceased to rejoice in the dryness of the season, a very
awful pause took place. It was put an end to by Mrs.
Dashwood, who felt obliged to hope that he had left Mrs. Ferrars very
well. In a hurried manner, he replied in the affirmative.
Another pause.
Elinor resolving to exert herself, though fearing the sound of her own
voice, now said,
"Is Mrs. Ferrars at Longstaple?"
"At Longstaple!" he replied, with an air of surprise.-- "No, my mother
is in town."
"I meant," said Elinor, taking up some work from the table, "to inquire
for Mrs. Edward Ferrars."
She dared not look up;--but her mother and Marianne both turned their
eyes on him. He coloured, seemed perplexed, looked
doubtingly, and, after some hesitation, said,--
"Perhaps you mean--my brother--you mean Mrs.--Mrs. Robert Ferrars."
"Mrs. Robert Ferrars!"--was repeated by Marianne and her mother in an
accent of the utmost amazement;--and though Elinor could not speak,
even her eyes were fixed on him with the same impatient
wonder. He rose from his seat, and walked to the window,
apparently from not knowing what to do; took up a pair of scissors that
lay there, and while
spoiling both them and their sheath by cutting the latter to pieces as
he spoke, said, in a hurried voice,
"Perhaps you do not know--you may not have heard that my brother is
lately married to--to the youngest--to Miss Lucy Steele."
His words were echoed with unspeakable astonishment by all but Elinor,
who sat with her head leaning over her work, in a state of such
agitation as made her hardly know where she was.
"Yes," said he, "they were married last week, and are now at Dawlish."
Elinor could sit it no longer. She almost ran out of the
room, and as soon as the door was closed, burst into tears of joy,
which at first she thought would never
cease. Edward, who had till then looked any where, rather
than at her, saw her hurry away, and perhaps saw-- or even heard, her
emotion; for immediately afterwards he fell into a reverie, which no
remarks, no inquiries, no affectionate address of Mrs. Dashwood could
penetrate, and at last, without saying a word, quitted the room, and
walked out towards the village--leaving the others in the greatest
astonishment and perplexity on a change in his situation, so wonderful
and so sudden;--a perplexity which they had no means of lessening but
by their own conjectures.
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